OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
