no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
