All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
