I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
