Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
