i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
