I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
