I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
