you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
