i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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