If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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