nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
