I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
