PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you have to choose: penises or morals?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
