Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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