For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
