No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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