The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
