i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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