Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
...so i touched it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
