the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So many bounce houses so little time
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
