shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I could fuck to npr.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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