I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
