Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
