fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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