I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
babies were throwing up all over the place
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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