Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
