This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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