how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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