Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
