he puts the penis in happiness.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
