i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
