at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
