Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think your dad took our porno
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
