You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
