the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
