Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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