shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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