I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Green mimosas i think yes
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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