I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
