i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
