Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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