There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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