ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
