There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
