Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
PANTIES FOUND
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
