Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
