dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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