Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
