It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
