It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
