I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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