how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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