theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
